A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how, for the most part, I continue to do most the things I did before Remy burst on to the scene. It is true that Remy has become a seamless part of who I – and who we – are. I miss movies, I suppose, but otherwise I rarely feel like he is keeping me from being who I am or doing what I want.
Lately I’ve been thinking about all that I do that I didn’t used to. I’ve been considering the things that Remy has added to my life.
I spend a lot more time looking out windows. I notice more both inside and outside my house. I open the windows and lay in the sun. I am much more aware of where I am and where I might go next. I go outside a lot more.
I take more walks and stop more often to consider trees, flowers, dogs, cars, and sidewalk cracks. I pet more animals. I see my neighbors. I talk to more people.
Actually, I talk to a lot more people. Both family and complete strangers. I say more than “hello” to people I barely know. It hasn’t killed me yet – it is less difficult than it used to be. Strange but related – I think about people more and more easily. I can hold a conversation better than I used to. I can think of nice things to say. I remember to ask questions back. This seems so silly when I actually write it down, but it’s true.
I worry less. Before Remy arrived, I assumed I would be a nervous parent. I’m generally a perfectionist. I worry about getting things right. But Remy falls and he gets back up. He drops things and he collects them again. His path is blocked and he figures out another way. He has less than 10 words but he can still communicate clearly most of the time. I worry less about him and, honestly, less about me. If he can figure out things, so can I.
I am a lot more productive. On days that I am home, I have less than five hours a day of non-Remy time. I have the work that I used to do in eight or ten hours. I stay focused and make it work. I ask for help when I need it. I am working on setting better boundaries.
This year, one of my goals is to become a kinder person. I think Remy will help me with this as well.