Recently I was reunited with some friends. Not just acquaintances, but real life giving friends. Hopefully you know the type. People that help make life pretty great. People that love you, know you and trust you.
At this point in my life I find myself appreciating this type of friend more and more. Friendship is hard work. In our social media saturated world face to face friendship can appear daunting. Via Facebook or Twitter, we have the time to think through how to precisely say something. A clever response could be a thirty minute project of thinking and editing. A face to face conversation is raw…it’s immediate. It’s real time.
What I have come to treasure most in friendships is transparency. The willingness to know and to be known. Difficult? Yes! Intimidating? Yes! Impossible? No! Necessary? Absolutely. Especially if you want a friendship that’s solid. Not every friendship needs to be at this level. But when I experience a friend being vulnerable and transparent with me…the integrity of the friendship skyrockets.
I do fear that if I spend too much time and energy trying to be a good friend to too many people, I miss the chance to be a dear friend to somebody in particular. I don’t want to miss that role and I don’t want to miss out on having that done for me. This agrees with my somewhat introverted tendencies, but I wholeheartedly believe in quality over quantity.
Then there is the subject of what do I want to teach my boys about friendship? They will obviously do friendship different than me because…well, they are boys. But I pray that they will have deep meaningful relationships. Friendships that will be crucial in molding them into men. Between the two of them, I already see major differences in their friendship preferences. One has the “more the merrier” mentality and the other has the “one or two and I am good” approach. I hope that we can be a model of healthy friendships in our home.
Back to the friends I mentioned above. As they were leaving, my son looked at me and said, “That was awesome…when can we see them again?” Even at eight years old his heart knows it’s special too.
Friendship is a treasure. Let’s do it well.