The Elaborate Illusion of Time

This is how I feel after the holidays–



–like a pissed off baby.

I don’t know about you, but the anticipation of the holiday season sets me up for a giant emotional letdown afterwards. You hop straight from Halloween to Thanksgiving, from Thanksgiving to Christmas, Christmas to New Year’s Day. And then it’s over. We are unceremoniously thrust back into a world with full work-weeks! Who wants that?!

It’s been kind of a tough (miscarriages) and crazy year (moving, friends moving, starting new jobs). For me the holidays suspend reality and offer a certain Holiday Freedom. There’s no need to stress and every reason to indulge*. I don’t just mean with food, but with family, friends, movies, music, books, sleep, laziness–indulge. In the days after Christmas I was sad. My parents left. I took down the decorations. I stubbornly listened to holiday music. I found myself stretching the goodness of the season as long as I could. I didn’t want to go back to reality! Cue tantrum.

My kids didn’t seem to mind.  At best, they only have a tenuous grasp on time. We went to church and opened presents on Christmas Eve (a first for us) and then went to the grandparents house for Christmas Day. On the 26th, Boy Q asked, “So, is today Christmas? We go to bed and wake up and then it’s Christmas?” As far as he’s concerned Christmas (and every holiday or birthday) is always just around the corner; last week he asked if we could go Trick-Or-Treating with his cousins again. Both my kids are obsessed with their birthdays but have no concrete idea when they occur.

But me, I have to talk myself into being excited for 2014. This is the year of Being 30. The year my oldest will officially start school. This is (probably) the year we will decide whether or not to give up on trying to have a bigger family. This year we will try to make a new life for ourselves in our new town.

I think I’m going to take a page out of Boy Q’s book–who, when I told him it was a brand new year, had no clue what I meant. Holidays 2014 might as well be just around the corner.**

"Cloud Question Mark" by Ventrilock

“Cloud Question Mark” by Ventrilock

*Speaking of indulgence, this year I successfully made gluten-free sugar cookies…and ate the majority of them.

**Don’t judge me if I spend a good chunk of 2014 just looking forward to Christmas-time. You know you’re already excited too.

3 thoughts on “The Elaborate Illusion of Time

  1. I guess I’m not the only one who feels let down after the holidays. I still haven’t put up my clock that chimes with a new carol every hour. Now I have time to enjoy it! Happy new year to you and your family!


  2. I’m with you. The hardest time of the year is letting go of the joy of Christmas and going back to reality. Partly because of all the fun and relaxation of the holiday, but it also doesn’t help that all the beautiful lights and decorations suddenly disappear. And that’s when my SAD tends to kick in, because so many things are working against me. Yuck. This week is rough. -Amy


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