My husband and I are just beginning to emerge from the parenting cultural coma. This condition causes parents to lose about five years of cultural stuff from mid-pregnancy to when our kids approach age five. The gap in awareness is primarily caused by complete obsessiveness in our children.
First we all get caught in the stroller wheels of baby gear. Deciding on the best baby swing requires hours of internet research and store visits. Later the Birth Boards of BabyCenter consume hours in which we commiserate with others at the same stage because no one in ‘real-life’ is at the same phase right now. And then it is time to pick a preschool, plan play dates, hit playgrounds and parks and potty train. And finally, sleeping through the night becomes more normal, and the sheer exhaustion dwindles and the fog begins to clear.
Recently we noticed a new restaurant on the corner by our house. It has been there about three years a neighbor informed us.
Apparently I’m supposed to wear skinny jeans now. Still not convinced that is going to happen, but everyone else is doing it.
Movies like Pitch Perfect (2012) just made its way to our DVD player and cracked us up. And I’ve recently discovered Modern Family and The Middle – where were they when I needed them? Oh yeah, right there on my boob tube – unfortunately, I was just too busy figuring out how to feed a kid with my boobs to turn on the tube.
And then there is a singer named Adele. WOW – enough said. She happened. And she had a baby, I learned. Pretty sure that baby is the luckiest one in the entire world. Can you imagine the beautiful lullabies she must sing each night?
And twerking is what?
Embarrassingly, I had to Google Paul Walker to find out who he was as everyone shared their grief on Facebook. I’ve never seen any of the Fast and Furious movies. I hear they are actually really good.
And one of the coolest things I’ve discovered recently is that scientists landed a rover on Mars that takes pictures, studies the dirt there and Jetsons the information back to us on Earth. Who knew? You can see the pictures here.
Watch out world, the Collingwoods are slowly awakening from this cultural coma.
Although I do fear that just as soon as we start to feel like ourselves, we’re soon to be swept up in the tween years of whatever they consider cool at the moment. And do kids still say, ‘cool?’ But, really, please take me to the pasture if you find me wearing neon (we already did this in the 80s and once a lifetime is enough for neon) or singing anything by Justin Bieber.